Insanity
by catastrophic-art
Summary: Insanity is taking over, and Hidan is losing control. Gift for KarlaHomolka on deviantART. Rated T for mild language and some descriptions of gore.


The sky was a dim gray color. Nothing special, no rain, no dramatic scene. Unless of course, if you found a slowly rotting corpse - still bleeding from his mouth and eyes opened wide as if looking into something that wasn't even there - in any way repulsive, then there was nothing interesting to be noted of.

The sky was progressively becoming darker as the sun disappeared from behind the horizon. Hidan blinked slowly, waiting for his partner to arrive. Odd, usually the banker was the one waiting on him. But now the tables have turned, and Hidan has, for once, finished early. Not that he actually wanted to, it's just the way things turned out. There wasn't much excitement in this bounty. Hidan was thankful for the fact that Kakuzu had allowed him to as he would put it, "go crazy", but Hidan simply… Didn't feel like it. He had no real drive, no motivation.

Hidan chuckled to himself. The last time he had told Kakuzu of his "motivational deficiency", Kakuzu had beat him into the floor until he had a shattered ribcage, broken arms and legs, and a fractured nose. There had definitely been a difference in his attitude for a few months after that.

But that aside, Hidan looked up into the sky once again, trying to find the source of his… Issue, he supposed. He didn't really know what to call it. As far as he knew, he had been doing all of the rituals and prayers, reading the Book of Jashin, and following the commandments flawlessly (even though they were a pain in the ass). He didn't have much of a burden on his shoulders, so he wasn't holding a grudge of some sort… Hidan scoured his brain for answers. He couldn't think of anything that would cause this adrenaline-block. He used to become so excited for a new sacrifice for Jashin-sama, but now he felt nothing. It was like something had changed, and he didn't even notice it as it passed him by.

Finally, the large shadow of his partner appeared over him, glaring down at the priest with his dual-colored eyes. He had already decapitated the bounty and disposed of the body. How long had he been here? Hidan didn't even notice his presence, no less his chakra signature as he was so deep in thought. Hidan let out a long breath, sitting upright. Running a slightly bloodied hand through his dirty hair, he tried to rid it of the knots from the sweat, blood and dirt. Hidan stood silently as he brushed off his cloak of any remaining dust. Then it hit him - was he tired of Akatsuki as a whole? He knew that no one there even liked him as a person or as a fellow member. But Hidan himself also disregarded Leader as a so-called god and had no interest whatsoever in the plan that this organization was taking. Hidan hated how Leader would always tell them that "their goals would be achieved that much faster" if they stayed on this path. Yeah, right. Hidan knew, behind all of the propaganda that this "master plan" was doomed to utter failure. They were just puppets for Leader's personal gain. Kind of like sacrifices themselves; Hidan didn't appreciate being used - of course, no one does - it reminded him of his home village when it was actually still considered a shinobi village, not a tourist attraction.

Kakuzu examined Hidan, looking him up and down, noticing how his eyes would flicker between thoughts. His facial expression would change as well, going from a passive stare to glaring at the ground. His eyes suddenly look up to meet Kakuzu's as he finally noticed he was being scrutinized by the older man.

"What?" Hidan snapped.

Kakuzu just gave Hidan a once-over, shook his head to himself, and started walking. "Stop daydreaming and get moving."

"You fucker, I wasn't daydreaming!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"We need to get this bounty turned in before the sun sets. Stop bitching and hurry up."

"But the sun has practically set already!"

"Shut up and move your ass before I cut off your head and kick your body the whole way there!"

Hidan opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it for once. However, once he noticed this, he grabbed his head with both hands and growled to himself. Something was seriously wrong with him.

* * *

The bounty was given, money exchanged, and now Hidan sat on his bed attempting to read the Book of Jashin. Kakuzu was on the other side of the room doing the usual - counting his profits. Hidan's mind had drifted all over the place as he tried to focus on his readings. He thought about trying to become more experimental to his sacrifices to Jashin-sama. However, that would take much more time, planning each separate sacrifice to try to keep things fresh. It just seemed a lot more trouble than it was really worth, so that was dropped. Maybe take a break from rituals? No, Jashin-sama would never forgive him. He would be so disappointed. Hidan at one point began to muse whether or not he should leave the organization as a whole. Then he thought of Leaders warning through his threatening tone, _'Working with us means working for us'_. He rationalized that leaving wasn't the best idea and tried to come up with something better.

Slamming the book shut, Hidan fell back on the bed with a growl of frustration. He couldn't focus on his readings, he couldn't get any stimulation from fighting, and now Jashin-sama was going to be pissed. Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Kakuzu sighed audibly, setting his money down on the table. He couldn't concentrate with Hidan being so audible about whatever he was feeling. All he ever asked for was for Hidan to shut his ungodly mouth and stay quiet while he counted his money. Kakuzu was about to ask when Hidan spoke up first.

"What would you do if I left?"

"… Actually be able to count my money without having to listen to you complain about _something_ that isn't perfect according to you." He picked up his money, making another futile attempt to count his earnings.

Hidan raised his head enough to send a glare towards his partner for the snide remark. Sighing, he laid his head back into the thin sheets. "No… If I left Akatsuki."

Kakuzu raised his head, turning towards the priest. Leave the organization? Just like that? There had to be something more. He set down his money, completely forgetting what number he was even at. "Why would you leave?"

"You know damn well. Unless you want to die, why would you stay? We're just pawns for Leader's own plans."

"But you're immortal, so why do you care?"

"Well, shit, I dunno. I just-"

"Why did you even ask what I thought?"

Hidan hadn't even let the thought pass through his mind. Why _did _he tell him? Now everything was starting to become confusing again, everything clouding over to where you couldn't even see you hand right in front of your face. Hidan once again brought his hands to his face, holding it as he screwed his eyes shut. He sat up and turned to the side of the bed, swinging his legs over and resting his elbows on his knees as he continued to cradle his head. He wanted to yell, scream, kill something, even cry. He didn't know what to do, nothing made sense to him. He could virtually see his world and everything he knew fall to pieces.

Kakuzu watched as Hidan went through the visible stages of his mental breakdown. He looked utterly lost and frustrated. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Kakuzu massaged his forehead to put down the headache.

"What would _you_ do?" Hidan snapped his head up, being brought back to reality by Kakuzu's question. "Where would you go?"

Hidan looked at the floor, not quite sure of the answer himself. He would probably just go around, serving Jashin-sama, and making it by just like any other missing-nin. It sounded so simple, but he couldn't quite imagine the situation without seeing Kakuzu walking in front of him telling him to walk faster.

"Would you want me to stay?"

Now it was Kakuzu's turn to think, now focusing on the floor as well. Hidan looked at Kakuzu's face, trying to see what he would say, although he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to hear from him either. Would he want him to stay? Maybe he wanted to leave as well. Suddenly the dual-colored eyes rose and met his own. How Hidan wished to able to read those eyes… You'd think that being his partner for so long, he'd be able to identify Kakuzu's emotions. Far from it; Kakuzu's whole personality, inside and out, was a blockade. An impenetrable structure and couldn't be broken. He could never tell when the miser was angry, annoyed, or even slightly content. The only notification of his current mood was his voice - even _that_ could be difficult to interpret.

Kakuzu looked Hidan over. He could see so many things in his eyes; the confusion, the anger, and some worry. But… why would he be worried?

"Hidan," Kakuzu could almost see Hidan leaning towards him, expecting something. "You're an annoying, loud-mouthed zealot. You act before you think and bitch every day…" Hidan's eyes widened with shock - hurt? Kakuzu didn't bother answering that. "… But you are the only partner who would work for me in this organization and the only one who could make an efficient combat partner for bounties."

"… So, you would want me to stay?"

"I would much rather prefer it; I'm not going after your ass if you leave though." Hidan allowed a smirk to grace his lips – leave it to Kakuzu to refuse a mission if no money was involved. If he left, Kakuzu would most likely be assigned to retrieve him and Leader would not pay him for that. Thus, Kakuzu would reject.

Kakuzu stood, making his way towards the door. "Until you decide what to do, leave me out of this. I'm not going to be involved in your temporary escape." The door closed, and Hidan let the lightest chuckle pass; Kakuzu using the phrase 'temporary escape' meant that he wouldn't last out there if he did decide to leave. Either Leader or Kakuzu would find him and drag him back (However, Kakuzu would be the more likely candidate to bring him back; he knew more about the priest and was obviously more intelligent by means of battle strategy and years of retrieval experience from bounties). And he knew both of them wouldn't appreciate the extra work in the slightest bit.

Hidan lay back down on the firm mattress, closing his eyes. Things were much clearer now, and he felt he could finally breathe again. As cliché as it sounded (especially for a cold-blooded killer of Akatsuki), talking about it with Kakuzu had helped him find his way. Letting sleep take over his senses, he knew he would stay.


End file.
